A Word From The President

Being away from all things familiar can never be easy, irrespective of whether it happened several years ago or just yesterday. Yet, most of us at PILC know what it means to leave our homes, our parents, neighbors, school and college friends, and move to distance places.  We also know what it means to struggle with a new language, culture, food, people and different ways of doing things. We know what it means to run to a Thai tutor. We also know what it means to teach our children a language we don’t know, or may never need once we move out of Thailand. Still, there are some of us who do manage to turn our long stay overseas into something meaningful. Many members here at PILC are living proof of that
Today, I wish to introduce you to two such women. They are Debra R. Bryson and Charise M. Hoge. I have never met them, though they have lived in Bangkok for part of their ex-pat life.  Both are now back with their loved ones.  Debra is in Austin Texas, where she lives with her husband and two children, spending time on things she loves most: outdoor activities, weightlifting, biking, journaling and spending time with friends and family. Charise lives in the Washington, D.C. area with her husband and two daughters. She teaches SynergyYoga and performs with the Ancient Rhythms Dance Troupe. She enjoys writing, getting together with friends and going with her family to the wilds of West Virginia for the occasional weekend getaway.
Now you may wonder why I chose these women to talk about this week. It is because of their indomitable spirit that keeps them still connected with those of us left behind. The two have co-authored a book. It is titled, “A Portable Identity: A Woman’s Guide to Maintaining a Sense of Self While Moving Overseas”.
In the introduction, they describe an ex-pat wife’s life as a loss of connection to familiar surroundings, and a loss of contact with people who have been central to their life. “Overnight she becomes an expatriate spouse, the ‘wife of,’ or a ‘dependent of,’ her husband or partner. She must make new friends and carve out a new path for herself.”
These are words which are likely to touch a chord in many of us.
What makes the book interesting is that the writers draw heavily from their own life experiences. What could also be interesting to PILC members is that their stories began in Bangkok.  Debra moved abroad when she got married to a diplomat. Charise joined her husband overseas as a military wife. Both were highly qualified women. In terms of academics. Charise held two Masters degrees, one in Dance/Movement Therapy from New York University which she received in 1984, and another in Social Work from the University of Georgia which she got in 1992. Debra had a Master’s Degree in Social Work with specialization in mental health counseling from Virginia Commonwealth University.
As professions, Debra was a licensed clinical social worker with experience in providing mental health, educational, and vocational counseling and services. Charise was a holistic health practitioner, who was an expert in social work, dance therapy, polarity therapy, and yoga.
Both prided themselves on their jobs and drew strength from their work. Their personal identity, to an extent, came from what they did.
Understandably, it never crossed their minds that when by saying “I do”, they were giving up that part of themselves which gave them such pleasure—their identities.
Yet, arrival in Bangkok brought them face to face with their new realities. Both discovered that they could not work. Debra’s problem was more pronounced than Charise’s. As a diplomatic wife, she was forbidden from working outside the US Embassy premises.
Charise found an outlet by reconnecting with her school. She thought that Bangkok could provide opportunities for students from the University of Georgia, from where she had graduated. The end result was the creation of the first overseas internship opportunity for the University of Georgia Social Work Program at the Community Services of Bangkok.
Debra’s task was tougher. North American diplomatic wives, who had preceded her, had not taken on the issue of spouses working while their husbands were overseas. So it fell on her to take on this battle.
Today, the wives of US embassy officials can work in Thailand. This is on account of an agreement between the US Embassy in Bangkok and the Royal Thai government, made possible in part because of Debra’s effort.
Once the doors were open, Debra sought employment as a mental health counselor in an organization in Bangkok. This organization provides services to the expatriate community. Here she met Charise. This work opportunity also provided both of them the experience of working with people of different cultures. “Our paths crossed and lives touched primarily because we each moved overseas in support of our spouse’s career,” the two say.
As counselors, and as expatriate wives, the two women had a special interest in the concerns of ex-pat women. “We were distressed to discover the lack of in-depth information available to women about how moving and living overseas affects their identities,” they say.
This concern led them to independently research the effect of an overseas move on a woman’s identity. They developed a model, which they called “The Wheel”. This model was a method, which helped ex-pat wives to reconstruct their identity in a foreign country and culture.
Their concept of how an ex-pat wife could handle transition and transform their lives met with such a success that they were invited to conduct workshops for women. Charise also presented their work at the Asia Regional Counselors’ Conference. This resulted in several requests asking them to provide written material on the subject. 
Thus, the idea for a book was born. After returning to the US, the two collaborated on developing their material into a book. Debra moved twice (out of the 15 times she had moved in her life overseas) during the writing of the book. Charise moved once out of the 10 times she had relocated in her life.  That should speak volumes for the kind of challenges that lie before us, just as Debra and Charise’s stories are inspirational and motivating for those of us who wish to make their lives overseas both rewarding and worthwhile.
 
http://www.aportableidentity.com/auth.htm